Sunday Supper at Little Meats LA

Before I moved out here to Los Angeles, I did my research. Research of what neighborhood I might want to live in. Research of places I might want to visit and things I might want to try. I even did research on instagram for places I might want to eat at. Somehow I came across Little Meats LA and it was only until recently that I finally attended one of their Sunday supper/dinner parties.

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Basically I had kept my eye on Little Meats LA until my schedule matched or something particularly interesting came up. When I saw that Teresa Kwon, the first ever female chef to be feature at Little Meats LA was going to be cooking, I signed up without hesitation. No plus one, just myself, my appetite and my curiosity.

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This is how it went for me: Continue reading

Why I write

All natural everything #myhappyplace #candid #malibu

A photo posted by AndreaM |24| LA, CA (@inbusinessandlife) on

There are a lot of things I could be doing instead of writing this post. I could be watching tv, I could be sleeping, I could be eating, I could be exercising, but yet here I am, making the conscious effort to write my thoughts on this blog.

Why do I write? I don’t get paid for anything you see here. I write about very personal things and pour my heart out. Not a lot of people “like” it, even though they might read it. Why write when the easier thing would be…. not to do it?

Every year I get a reminder to renew my blog domain and I always consider letting it go and giving it up, but I don’t. Here are some reasons why: Continue reading

On My Radar: Skin Laundry, Los Angeles

Just came back from a weekend in NorCal, still sore from crossfit (my first time yesterday) and with my skin looking more irritated, dry and tired than usual.

I’ve struggled with acne since my early teens and it seems that my skin hasn’t been acclimating well to the west coast “winters” so I booked an appointment at Skin Laundry before the weekend since I knew I’d have some free time with my day off. I stumbled upon Skin Laundry on instagram after seeing a lot of girls with enviable clear and glowing skin. After reading about Skin Laundry wherever I could find it on the internet, I decided I’d try this laser facial treatment. The last time something showed noticeable effects in calming my skin was when I had something similar done (except with needles) in Korea a couple years ago.

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The Rare Specimen Vocabulary

I love words. I love vocabulary. I always have since I was younger (spelling bees and the reading section on the SAT were actually fun for me). I like learning the etymology of words and understanding the definitions.

Lately I’ve been making up my own words, because sometimes there just aren’t words that already exist to describe new and incredible things/feelings.

Since having my Rare Specimen (significant other) in my life, these words have come up over and over again. We both agree that these are very useful in our relationship. These words may already exist online somewhere but either way, I’m defining them the way that I’ve come to experience them. I’m hoping they will be useful to you too. :)

Let’s begin in no particular order:

1. 

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Thoughts on Soulmates

Remember when I made a friend in an Uber Pool car ride and a couple of weeks later we had a small dinner party together?

We talked about soulmates that night. And the way she described it has changed what the word means to me since.

(Soulmate. I know. It’s an intense word but I’m going to write about it).

Cheers to special moments shared with one of a kind individuals. #tgif #grateful #fbf

A photo posted by AndreaM |24| LA, CA (@inbusinessandlife) on

I used to think it meant someone who you’d have to spend the rest of your life with. Someone who was exactly like you but in a different body.

But Jordan said:

“Hmmmm, I mean every single person in your life is a reflection of you— there are qualities that they have which you possess.. good and bad.

I don’t know if I can remember exactly what I said— and I certainly didn’t say it first but a soulmate is someone who shows you another layer of yourself, someone who comes into your life and shows you everything that is holding you back… it is just a normal ordinary person, but they are put in front of you to allow you to see exactly what you possess, but you have not been able to get to yet. And there can be a number of these people within a lifetime — I have already had three — they have been men and I have had relationships with them… but I am so very clear exactly why they were put in front of me, and also that it was not meant to be a long term partner…”

With that definition, I’ve had three soulmates. They know it too.

I’ve had 3 guys in different phases of my life stay long enough to show me exactly what I needed and shed light on my next step. I attracted them with the kind of person I was at the time, we grew and learned from each other and then we both moved on because life introduced distance and change between us.

And now, I know a different kind of soulmate. The kind that not only comes into your life to be a reflection of sorts, but the kind that is like a best friend and more. Someone who “gets it.” The kind that makes you a better person. The kind that knows me and accepts me fully. The one always wants the best for me. The person who will make me the most ME that I can possibly be.

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I’m very lucky to have one in my life now. I call him my Rare Specimen (boyfriend just doesn’t do him justice).

I wrote about him here on Quora because I read the question and he inspired me to write. Then I got a lot of comments about how they could find rare specimens of their own.

Here’s how to find your rare specimen, or at least the way I see it:

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Step 1) Know exactly what it is you want and are looking for.

After every encounter I had with the opposite sex, I mentally pieced together my ideal person. I would put together a list of desired characteristics I wanted in a person I could be in a relationship with. I “built a boy” in my mind. It went as general as “taller than I am” to specific details like “the kind of person who would rather spend nights feeding his mind, staying in than out drinking” or “someone who knows what char siu bao is, (bonus points if he knows how to make it).” “Confident” became more detailed: “having a sexy self assuredness that is tempered with kindness and goodness.” This list got more focused over the years. The list also divided into MUSTS (non-negotiables) to SHOULDS. The more specific I got, the easier it got for me to identify these traits in people I met. Imagine whatever this soulmate looks like to you and keep in mind that the list should have more about values than looks (unless that’s the kind of relationship you want, you know, one based on just looks).

Step 2) Become the person that a rare specimen would date. You can wish for a self-aware, physically fit, well dressed, good looking person but chances are, if you aren’t that yourself, it will be that much more difficult to attract that person to you. What does a soulmate look like to you? If you want them to see you as an equal and soulmate to them, you have to be what you ask for. As Gloria Steinem once said: “Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.”

Step 3) Wholeheartedly believe that it exists.

It took me 24 years to come across someone who not only keeps me on my toes but is able to grow with me as life happens. Before that though, I accepted the fact that I was going to be alone for awhile, if not because of how often I was changing but because finding my person was not a priority or focus. I also had a lot of people telling me that my standards were too high, but I kept my standards even if my expectations were lowered and kept going. I made sure to get comfortable doing things by myself and figure out what I wanted, all while believing that a rare specimen existed out there. Even though I got disappointed by people and scared even, by some of the stuff I was seeing and hearing online about what dating has become, I still believed that a person who was as weird as I was existed, and I wholeheartedly believed I was going to find him. And I did. Believe and be open.

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To sum it up: 

Know what you want, do and be what it is you seek, believe in what seems like is “impossible”and live your life. At least in my experience, this sort of thing (finding your soulmate in this case) happens when you least expect it and only when you achieve absolute confidence in who you are and what you are looking for.

I hope that helps… It’s a bit difficult to describe because it’s a matter of the heart/soul and is better felt than read or written about.

Hope this makes sense though?

A lot more about what my rare specimen has taught me and is continuing to teach me in due time on the blog. He’s helping me become a better person in business and life.

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“Attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect, mirror what you admire”

First post of 2016

I’ve been thinking a lot about 2016 and the things I want to improve on this year. They’re not resolutions, rather, they’re things I’ve been working on for years now but hope to really solidify into my habits with renewed focus and commitment this year.

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Within my theme of Focus and Discipline, in 2016 I’d really like to focus on Creativity. I was listening to this podcast with two of my favorite authors/thinkers Brene Brown and Elizabeth Gilbert and it was exactly what I needed to be reminded of: Creativity is essential for healthy and wholehearted living.  Continue reading

Goodbye 2015. 

What a difference a year can make.

What a difference a few months can make!

This year in 2015, almost halfway through the year, I completely uprooted myself to a new city and “started again.” I’ve made new friends, dusted off some older connections, began a new relationship and new job and slowly grew out of the skeleton of “New York Andrea.”

2015 was about rebuilding and transition. As the year comes to a close, focus and discipline comes to mind as a need and desire.  
Focus on the things that matter to me and build further on that, despite all of the noise. Have discipline to commit and follow through despite how difficult it may be, how unsexy it might be.

Focus. Discipline.

I am still resetting and laying out the new foundation, but once I put it down and let it dry, I’m excited to build a skyscraper on sturdy groundwork.

Closing the 2015 chapter of my life and ready to start 2016 with a refreshed mind.

All the best for the new year,

Andrea

Best Writing Advice

I wrote my 4th post on Quora!

The question was:

What is the best writing advice you have received?

Read my answer here

I’m shocked at how many views and followers I’ve already gotten on the platform. In just one month since I have started I’m at 128K views and 86 followers!

Not that numbers really drive me, but it does feel quite amazing to have people who are interested in what I have to say.

It seems that the answer that I wrote to the question:

What is the best thing someone ever wrote for you? has been quite popular.

It means a lot because I only write about what I care about… I mean we only have so many hours to do so many things in a day, it doesn’t make sense to spend time on things that don’t matter to us.

I’ll continue to write on both platforms as an effort to improve my writing, so stay tuned!

You can find me on Quora here, and of course on this blog here, or on instagram for my visual diary here.

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On my radar: Zen Pencils

Someone sent me a comic that described exactly how I felt. And then I spent the next few minutes clicking around the site that it came from.

Usually when I click around aimlessly on a site, I end up regretting it but every moment spent on this site, Zen Pencils was totally worth it.

They’re quotes in cartoon form.

If you couldn’t tell, I’m kind of a quote junkie. Naturally I love inspiring quotes accompanied with illustration.

One of my absolute favorite quotes illustrated below.

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Holiday wish list

With the Holidays here I can’t help but think about the special people in my life and the things I would want/get for them.

A little late for this post, and a handful of these items are on backorder but it doesn’t hurt to imagine, right?

FOR MY SISTER:

A Little Bits Toy Kit.

Yea sure, the photos on the site show little kids playing with this but I think this would be a fun and educational gift for my sissy. We loved making things growing up and she has quite the imagination so I’d be curious about what she’d end up making, especially with the Gizmos and Gadgets Kit. I think it’s a cool toy to have and explore…If she doesn’t have room in her dorm to house this, I’d gladly take it!

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For a thoughtful gift, I’d probably get a customized puzzle with a photo of us two. We looooooved puzzles growing up. It’s a relaxing activity to do because we’re #grandmastatus.

FOR THE BESTFRIEND/ROOMMATE:

I’ve been thinking hard about this and I’d probably get her a “hold my life in a bag” tote.

This 15″ tote from Dagne Dover looks like it would take her effortlessly from day to night, in business and life. I like it because I’m not a huge fan of flashy labels and this bag looks clean and spacious. For her, I’d get the copper or dark cherry. I think the oxblood (my kind of color) is pictured below on the left.

FOR THE BOYFRIEND:

I went online shopping on Cyber Monday (which never usually happens but I needed warmer clothing) and ended up getting more things for my guy than I did for myself. I got him some outerwear. (pictured below)

It’s a wardrobe makeover disguised as a christmas gift shhh :D. To continue this makeover I’d probably want a bunch of tailored shirts for him. Continue reading