Feel Life

My thoughts today can be summarized through this quote:

Don’t sit and wait. Get out there, feel life. Touch the sun, and immerse in the sea. 

-Rumi

fountain spout i spotted in a DTLA park


It couldn’t be more fitting for my life right now. 

Reminder to self: 

Let yourself feel what’s going on around you and inside you. Embrace the unknown. Just do it.  Don’t sit and wait. Get out there.  
You have the choice to sit there scared and in the corner, or the choice to run through the illusion of fear. 

Go. 

-AndreaM

Follow me on my LA adventure on Instagram! (I post there most often),

24 in LA

 

Today’s my birthday. I am now 24. 
It’s also been officially a week since I got here to LA with a one way ticket. 

I began the day at the stroke of midnight filled with fear and dread along with excitement. A lot has changed in the last week, let alone the last month. (Is there a word to describe that combo feeling of anxiety, excitement and fear for what’s ahead?) As proud as I am of myself for making the move, the uncertainty and unknown of what’s in store is both thrilling and terrifying. 

I’ve never been the type to celebrate birthdays with parties or events. Each year, it’s more of a mental check-in and reflection:

Did I accomplish what I wanted to this past year? Am I one step closer to the kind of woman I want to be

  
Someone asked me what was on my list this year. Besides the fact that a place to call my own (the housing I want has been hard to find) and a job I like (the one I found last month wasn’t a good fit) is obviously first and foremost, here is what is on my list this year. 
I know you’re not supposed to say your birthday wishes out loud but I also believe that saying things is supposed to help make it happen, or at least keep me accountable. 
1) Never get stuck in the comfort zone. Always keep challenging expectations. Strive to outdo myself everyday. 

2) Get in shape and maintain a healthy lifestyle. There are no excuses not to here. 

3) Write more consistently. A blog post each week, at the minimum. 

4)  If something scares me, I should probably do it. Do one thing that scares me everyday so that fear is no longer a consideration. 

5) Meet people who are smarter than I am. Always keep that love of learning and people alive. Build a strong base of friends and relationships here in LA. 

Those are some basic goals (I have to keep some private, right?) and I’m sure they will evolve as time passes. 

Today my birthday began with the friend I’m staying with now. We talked about life til the wee hours of the morning. It concludes with dinner with the friend who convinced me to make the jump to LA in the first place. It continues with the friends I’ve gotten to know here.

I’m so grateful for all the love and support this far. Thank you- Could’nt have asked for a better start to my 24th, and I promise to make this year even bigger and better than the ones before. 

To making this year a scarily exciting and eventful one. 

-AndreaM 

*this is my second post that I’ve written on my phone. Hope it looks ok?

“If you don’t go after what you want you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward you’re always in the same place”

One way ticket

 

July 15, 2015 

1:30 AM-

We leave the house. I only had 30 minutes of sleep because I was up packing. My parents had a short nap. They insisted that they drop me off at the airport even though my flight was at the crack of dawn. I felt a bit guilty but also a bit relieved. Why I chose this flight? I’m not too sure. 


3:00 AM-

We arrive at Newark airport. So early that all of the counters are ghost town empty. The sign says they open at 3:30 AM but to my surprise they start to check people in shortly after 3 AM. I get all checked in in no time at all. The habit of always being early comes from my parents. Thankful for this tendency. 


3:15AM-

In line with my family again, this time to check in and enter the terminal. 

“….and make sure you are always alert and don’t look so lost/confused all the time.”

 I know she’s worried and I know she says that with love. 

 “Mom you know that you can call me whenever you want, right?”

I embrace her and no further words need to be said. 

The line starts to move earlier than expected.  I’m surprised because it’s still not 3:30. 

I give them a quick hug each to keep up with the movement of the queue. There’s a lot of people both in front and behind me. My dad’s hug is especially tight. My sister is the last one to say bye. “I’ll come and visit in the winter” she says half asleep. 

Suddenly my thoughts fast forward to a sunny California scene where my sister and I, arms linked with our sunglasses on, are on a hike and food adventure together. A surge of motivation rushes through me. “I’ve got to be settled down by then so she can visit,” I think to myself.

“Bye sissy” I say. I can’t remember if I kissed her goodbye. My body is so tired even as I write this.

“Please have your boarding pass and ID ready” the attendant says, pretty loudly for the fact that it’s 3 in the morning. 

This is really happening.

As I approach the front of the line I look back at my parents and try to get their attention. I wave goodbye when I do. My throat suddenly feels a bit tight. I feel like I’m in elementary school again waving bye as I board the yellow school bus, except I’m much older now and I won’t be back at the end of the day. 


Holy shit this is happening. One way ticket in hand
.   

I’ve gone through security. I’m writing this as I wait for time to pass. Boarding time is in 15 minutes or so. Even though I should be dead tired right now, thoughts run like electricity through my mind. 

This decision to go west has been nothing short of crazy to my family- in fact I am very much on my own- yet for the past few days, they’ve nursed me back to health with home cooked meals and unconditional love. They’ve gone with me to multiple doctors’ appointments in the past few days. They’ve helped me pack (my mommy is especially good at it) and today they woke up only after a naps worth of sleep to drive me to the place that will take me far away from them. Yet again they’re letting me make my own mistakes, my own discoveries and are letting me pursue my dreams/goals as far fetched as they sound. They don’t know how thankful and lucky I feel. I wouldn’t be able to express it in words so instead I’ll have to go kill it in LA and show them that this decision was a good one. And when it gets difficult (and it will) I will remember what my dad said to me last week. 

“Don’t be discouraged. Everything will be ok. You are strong and brave. I always have confidence in you. I love you.”

So off I go. Take two of this LA adventure. More unknowns than guarantees ahead. The only thing I know is that my desire to succeed is stronger and greater than my fears. 

Here we go. 

Love and good vibes~

-AndreaM 

*P.S: I’m trying this thing where I am blogging directly through the WordPress app on my phone. The formatting and grammar won’t be perfect (the photos might even be crappy) but bear with me, as this makes me more vulnerable than ever before. I also no longer have any excuse  not to blog. 

Tag along for the ride. Follow me on Instagram or subscribe to the right to get emails. It’s going to be a helluva adventure. 

When did it all change for you?

Sometimes it’s as if streetart is speaking to me.

Take this photo for example. I took it while wandering the streets of the Arts District in Los Angeles (when I was there in April). I found it interesting at the time but I didn’t think too much of it until I came back to NY from LA. As I slowly phased out of vacation mode…. everything seemed to make sense.

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spotted in the arts district, Los Angeles

When did it all change for you?

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Interview with Cynthia Koo, all abao making things that matter (in business and life)

If you follow me on instagram, you already know how much I love asian bakeries/snacks, ESPECIALLY buns (pineapple buns and char siu bao to be exact).

So when I saw what my friend Cynthia was working on lately, I had to learn more. Combine my love for buns with an appreciation for puns, stationery, thoughtfulness and things made with love, and you have Wonton In a Million, the creation of Cynthia Koo (aka the project i wish I did myself but one she did better than I ever could).

It’s one of her many projects that involves learning how to make things that matter. Things that matter to her. Things that matter to the people who matter to her. Things that matter to the world.

I recently I caught up with the girl behind the irresistibly cute handmade cards:

really cute right?

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The most romantic thing

“I want to learn about life with you” he said as he leaned against the wall.

“Hmm?” I turned around to face him, wondering if I heard him correctly.

“You heard me, I want to learn about life with you. I think it would be fun to learn and go through life together. To share life experiences with each other.”

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the gentleman is the new bad boy

I was speechless. Who says that kind of stuff?! and to me?

I don’t remember how I responded or what else happened that day. I don’t remember where we went that day. I don’t remember why he said that in the first place. All I know is that this happened almost 2 years ago and that moment is forever immortalized in my mind. Continue reading

That kind of Woman

“You look posh” he said as he looked at the screen and showed me this photo.

“Me, Posh?” I thought to myself.

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And there I was, caught off guard and caught in the moment. I barely recognize myself because I look so relaxed and comfortable with where I am. I’m just doing what I usually do- thinking- only this time it’s while staring off into the blue ocean and sunny sky of California. The photo feels natural, sunny, relaxed and free. I like the person I am in this photo.

The whole week I was in California- both Los Angeles and San Francisco- there was one question on my mind. It’s the same question I was thinking about it in this photo. It’s the thing I think about it everyday.

What kind of woman do I want to be?

Could I/would I be that person on the west coast or in NY?

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west coast here I come

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

I never thought I’d say this but I’m excited to visit LA. I’ll be there for the next week.
When I was there last time I would get anxiety about how calm I was. I felt antsy. Restless. Unproductive.
“I’m too young to feel relaxed” I’d think to myself. “I need to get to a certain point and accomplish a certain amount for me to feel this way: satisfied.”
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