That photo up there ^ is….:
1) One of the rare occasions you’ll see me all dressed/gussied up.
2) One of the few selfies of me that exist (I rarely take them).
I felt confident and attractive at that moment so I decided I would capture it.
As I write this I’m not wearing any makeup. My hair is tied up in a messy bun. I have flyaway baby hairs floating around my hairline. I’m dressed comfortably in yoga pants and a t-shirt. (Yep, that happened).
It’s definitely not the “most attractive” of situations. Full disclosure: I don’t look perfect all the time. My skin isn’t perfect. I still have scars from that time I had stress shingles (Not a cute situation at all)… but despite everything that you could possibly judge me on…
I am confident.
I’m the happiest and healthiest I have ever been.
I’ve never felt so powerful.
But just so you know… I didn’t just wake up like this. I fought hard to be where and who I am right now. I left my “New York” self and had to rebuild everything here in LA. I’m still in the process of rebuilding and settling. It certainly comes with struggle and doubt. It still is filled with uncertainties and unknowns but I’m confident because I know exactly who I am and what I stand for.
I’ve survived pain and disappointment. I’ve questioned everything and learned to think for myself. I do what I want and not what I have to (for the most part).
Though I don’t know what’s next or in store, I welcome the possibility with excitement, not fear. I used to be excited/scared/nervous, now I just get excited/nervous.
Even if I’m seeing or you’re telling me the opposite of what I’m saying, I don’t sway or shake. Even if you try to smoke my way with negativity and shame, I will tread through.
I’m confident because after everything, I trust myself. I believe in myself. I love myself. Even when no one else does, I do. I’m still here.
I still see the beauty in everything. The good in people. I never stop exploring.
I make the most of everyday, not waiting for the weekend.
When I go to bed at night, I have no regrets. If anything I regret having done it, than not having done it. Whatever regrets I do wake up with, I act on.
Sure, I don’t get more than about 15 likes on my instagram photos. I don’t have many followers either. But numbers don’t define me.
I’m confident because I’ve fought so hard to become who I am now. I’ve fought to be here. I’ve rebuilt and re-trained myself to be that kind of woman. Little by little. Day by day. Step by step. One mistake, lesson and person at a time.
I am honest. I am real. (Almost too honest if anything).
You might think I’m weird. I’m perfectly ok with it.
I like who I see when I’m looking at me. With or without makeup. All dressed up or in jeans. With my hair up or down.
And the best part…this is only just the beginning. There’s still so much more room for improvement and growth. That’s the exciting part.
And what’s more, I know it can only get better.
Thanks to everyone who never doubted I could do it, and even to those who did.
The adventure continues.
Live. Fail. Learn. Be confident
“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.” –Sophia Bush
Let’s explore together. Find me on Instagram