Lost and Lonely (NY vs LA)

It’s officially been 8 months since I made the move to LA. Coming from the East coast, I’m inclined to make comparisons.

When I first came here, being in a new environment made me feel lost and lonely at times.  It was strange though- the lost and lonely I felt here in LA was different than the lost and lonely I felt in New York. The feeling is completely different in each city. Here’s how I would describe it:


In New York:

There is so much going on and so many people all around you. When you are feeling lost, it’s because you have so much to choose from. You don’t know what you should do or where to go. If you don’t know who you are or what you want, you’ll be pushed into what the world thinks you should be and get lost in the noise.

In Los Angeles

When you are lost in LA, it’s because you have your interests and hobbies and have an idea of what you like, but you’re not really sure where you can do that and who you can do that with. Or maybe you don’t know what you like, and it’s hard to find what that is because of all of the space. You have to seek what you’re looking for here in Los Angeles, whereas in New York you have a bunch of things shoved in your face. In LA, you feel lost if what you see around you isn’t always what you want to be around. You have to come out of your bubble to find your way.

IMG_6138In New York:

When you are Lonely: You’re surrounded by people all the time but they’re most likely strangers or brief encounters. Everyone seems like a blur passing by. The frenetic energy is an illusion of company. You’re rarely alone in your own space and even when you are, there is always the constant reminder of life passing you by outside when you look out. You feel lonely if your conversations are lacking the depth you want. Conversations are usually about work and business, that when you finally talk about the things that matter to you, sometimes it’s disappointing to see that the person you’re talking to doesn’t see eye to eye, or doesn’t get it.

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In Los Angeles 

The city is so spaced out you rarely collide with people. It’s lonely because there’s no constant physical interaction. Everyone is in their own little bubbles. You might mistake feeling lonely because you’re by yourself/ you’re alone.


We as humans seek human interaction. It’s possible to be lost and lonely in any city, and feeling that way is totally normal regardless of who you are.

It’s important to questions: are you around the people you want to be around?

Are you in the right place? Are you in the place that allows you to be your best self?

Do you like your own company?

Something I learned and realized in New York is that I would rather be by myself (and say no to drinks/meetups/parties) than to be with bad company.

What is lost and lonely to you?

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