It’s hard because in our 20’s especially, we millennials (or at least I) feel the pressure to “have it all together”, in business and life, for our peers after graduation but the truth is, you’re not supposed to have it all together. Your twenties is about you trying and failing and figuring out what is right for you though trial and error.
This is something I try to remind myself of all the time.
Struggling is totally ok, in fact it’s good for you because it’s only after you struggle you realize how strong, smart, wonderful you are.
It’s only until you work way too much at a job you don’t quite like, with people whom you don’t quite vibe with that you realize how precious your time is, how important the people you surround yourself with is. How important it is to like what you do and who you’re becoming.
You have to know what it’s like to be on a limited budget and struggle to make ends meet to know what actual value the things you buy have and what you actually need versus want. Anyone can spend money with an unlimited budget especially if the money isn’t theirs and it’s their parents or a company’s…. but how do you spend your money?
You need to struggle to find good like minded people and feel lonely sometimes, to know how awesome it is to finally find people who speak your language, get you and are there for you.
You have to spend time with yourself to get to know yourself, to know what you really want out of life. That awesome feeling of knowing who you are and liking what you see in the mirror only comes after working for it.
It’s ok to struggle with how exhausted you feel and it’s ok to feel like you don’t have enough time in a day, because it helps you find out what’s important to you and what you’d like to do more/less of. You have to feel tired to figure out what wears you out, how/when you’re most efficient.
You need to go through the struggle of getting out of shape, and the struggle of getting and staying in shape, to know what persistence is and how to take actually care of your body in a way that gives you energy to be the best you can be everyday. The difference between a sluggish you and a on-top-of-it, high-on-endorphins you is astounding.
You have to spend a stupid amount of time behind the screen and on the computer and have the “what did I just do with the last _____ hours of my life” feeling to know what it’s like to have the contrasting feeling of real chemistry and that in person connection.
You need to struggle with the hard decisions to finally know and see what it is you stand for, the kind of things that matter to you.
You need to struggle with feelings and emotions, articulating them and sharing them with other people, for you to realize how much depth that adds to your relationships and overall perspective on life.
You have to struggle to find balance between work and play, to be able to prioritize the people and things in your life. What matters most to you in business and life? Is it meaning? Is it a large network? Is it money? Is it autonomy? Juggling for balance helps you to see where your scale moves.
You have to get flustered, embarrassed and be at a loss of words to figure out how you want to sound and present yourself to other people. That brief moment of faltering helps you to feel the impact your words and the power of your voice.
It’s what we should all be doing. The more you struggle and the more you fail, the faster you can get up and more you can do. If you’re not struggling, I don’t think you’re doing it right. You’re not pushing yourself enough to experience the spectrum of what life has to offer.
The struggle is real. Instead of fighting it, welcome the struggle with open arms because the truth is that it’s everywhere and affects everyone, despite what it might look like. I say the earlier you do it, the better.
A video I came across recently that I found powerful:
Ronda Rousey said she contemplated suicide after her shocking loss to Holly Holm in an emotional interview on The Ellen Show this week. She said since the fight she’s thought a lot about the greater meaning of the loss and hopes that she is a model of resilience. “Being defeated is a choice,” she said. “Everyone always has losses in their life but I choose to always be undefeated.”
Struggling is inevitable, how you respond to it is what matters.
Like the saying goes, I’ve never met a strong person with an easy past.
“I am strong because I know my weaknesses.
I’m alive because I’m a fighter.
I Love unconditionally because I have had hate directed towards me.
I am wise because I’ve been foolish.
And I laugh because I’ve known sadness.
Everything I have lived through has taught me Lessons.”
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